Since I arrived, just over 3 weeks ago, I have shared so many differences with people from different cultures. I love hearing the different words other english speakers use for things and also everyones attitudes towards their education and their lives in general. In this short time I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my own views and my approach to life. In general I would say I get on with everyone and I would normally go out of my way to ensure this. I think people maybe think I'm a little naive about the world but I hope this post will make my views a bit clearer.
Today has been one of the strangest days I think I've ever experienced. There wasn't a particular incident that has made me feel like this but rather my feelings throughout the day.
Yesterday I started watching 'Breaking Bad'. The series which follows a terminally-ill science teacher cooking and selling crystal meth is one of the biggest TV hits in recent years. I'm constantly hearing great things about it and now that I'm a Netflix user I decided to check it out. Unfortunately I felt physically sick after the second episode. Despite its interesting storyline, I couldn't get past the gore and brutally. However, I did decide to watch three more episodes. This was obviously a bad idea as I woke up at 5:30am having a nightmare about a murder. People always say that scary films aren't real and are just for entertainment purposes. HOW IS GORY VIOLENCE ENTERTAINING.
After thinking about it a lot this morning I continued to think about it as I went to my first class. One of the topics I am studying here in Uppsala is how children from different countries settle into their new environment and the Swedish education system. An issue constantly discussed in Sweden right now is the number of refugees coming from Syria and also children just appearing at train stations with nothing. The lecturer I had this morning is a 'preparatory classroom' teacher. Meaning she takes a class of 20 children who are not from Sweden and tries to teach them Swedish before they join the mainstream classroom. Although this isn't the case for all the children, many of them have had violent and unsettling experiences which led to them moving. She told us that when the children are in the playground, the sound of an airplane over head sends them running into the forests because they think a bomb is going to land. Also of one Syrian boy who cannot physically sit still because he is screaming to himself "don't kill us". Moving to Sweden is obviously a cry for help but unfortunately many children can't receive treatment and help because their parents don't agree with it. My lecturer told us that on one occassion she told a child's parents that their child needed treatment. Their reply was that she was wrong and she didn't understand. While she was only being helpful, of course this is correct, we don't understand. Growing up has been easy for me. I haven't experienced mass murder and the smell of blood all around myself and my belongings, nothing even close. At this point I felt physically sick. A child of 6 years old who is being told to forget everything that has happened, and just be grateful that they survived.
At this point we took a short break in the class to let everyone digest what they had heard and think about their own feelings towards it. As the class continued my lecturer showed us pictures that her students had drawn. Among them was murder, soldiers, shootings and bloodshed. It seems disrespectful not to explain these pictures further but all I can is that no one should have to experience what these children have already experienced in their short lives.
Most days I remember the words, "be helpful, be righteous, be grateful" and particularly today. I heard these words from an Auschwitz survivor when I visited Krakow in September 2011. I'm not in denial of the wrong doings that happen in the world. Furthermore I think it is important to recognise them and be sure we don't repeat history. I have learnt that the Holocaust of WWII is introduced into the Swedish education system in a very matter of fact way. I was shown a book that students are given, a book that makes me at the age of 20 feel uncomfortable. Either way, I do believe it's important to let children know.
If someone asked me what has been my worst experience? Or my worst memory? I honestly couldn't come up with an answer. I am not a strict Catholic but I do go to church and I do appreciate the morals and values I've been taught. Today I met with a group of girls who introduced the possibility of attending Bible Study. They were absolutely lovely and couldn't have been more welcoming. After an hour or so I did have my feelings tested. There was a concentration on scripture and its importance. For me, how you approach society is key. Although it's fair to describe me as a drama queen, I am aware of how lucky I am.
"It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless."
- L. R. Knost
P.S. Sorry for the emotional post. This hasn't really been about the events of my time in Uppsala but as I've spend the last year of University reflecting, I find it hard not too. X
